The top dog status is retained by last year's champ as Dan Todd's impressive winning streak reached 11 straight games. He opend up a can of whoopass on his former law school buddy Jeremie, who tried to unseat Dan behind a well-balanced attack. Even his tight end got in on the action. Not to be outdone, Uncle Joe used his split end, Santonio Holmes, and his starting tailbacks to stake himself to a victory and keep pace by silencing Lieb's piehole (which, as we know, is no easy feat). In a mismatch of epic proportions, Paul rode Tony Romo and tight end Antonio Gates, ripping last-place and everybody's prison bitch Marc a new one. In a relatively low-scoring match, Tom took out Eddie behind a career day from Robert Meachum who's been buried behind Colston for years. In other action, Nick gave Kevin the double-ass-grab-reacharound behind Brady, Fitzgerald and some go-go gadget arms. And finally, silent-but-deadly Mike took out Chris behind Alex Smith.
THIS WEEK'S $20 WINNER:
Paul, 165.58 points
HIGHEST SCORING PLAYER:
Robert Meachem (Tom), 36.20 points
TOYOTA "ASS RAPING OF THE WEEK":
Paul beats Marc by 59.56
SCORES:
Paul- 165.58, Marc- 106.02
Dan T.- 145.80, Jeremie- 118.03
Uncle Joe- 98.33, Dan L.- 71.55
Nick- 133.68, Kevin- 117.35
Chris- 103.92, Mike- 118.34
Tom- 93.80, Eddie- 85.82
STANDINGS (Records):
1. Dan T. (12-1)
2. Uncle Joe (10-3)
3. Paul (7-6)
4. Jeremie (7-6)
5. Dan L. (7-6)
6. Tom (7-6)
7. Eddie (6-7)
8. Chris (5-8)
9. Kevin (5-8)
10. Mike (5-8)
11. Nick (4-9)
12. Marc (3-10)
STANDINGS (Points):
1. Paul (1600.18)
2. Uncle Joe (1585.52)
3. Dan T. (1579.49)
4. Jeremie (1494.82)
5. Chris (1486.76)
6. Eddie (1459.39)
7. Kevin (1444.62)
8. Marc (1417.85)
9. Nick (1413.32)
10. Dan L. (1410.41)
11. Tom (1378.76)
12. Mike (1319.74)
THIS WEEK'S MATCHUPS:
Dan T. (Inferno) vs. Kevin (Motor City Madman)
Nick (Purple People Eaters) vs. Uncle Joe (Mongrels)
Paul (Strictly Business) vs. Mike (Malicious Intent)
Jeremie (Shorn Beaver) vs. Marc (Ron Mexico's Shi-Tzu)
Dan L. (Hebrew Hammer) vs. Tom (SD Spankfest)
Chris (Wyld Stallions) vs. Eddie (Armenian Assassins)
MATCHUP-OF-THE-WEEK:
Dan T. vs. Kevin. Dan's steamrolling everyone in his path and can wrap it up with a couple of wins. Kevin's going to do his best impression of a Trojan horse to see if he can take down Dan.
LEAGUE NEWS & NOTES:
-This week's Thursday game pits the Cleveland v. Pittsburgh.
-Following Dan T.'s win this week, everyone except Uncle Joe is not mathematically eliminated from title contention. We will see history this year: either Dan will become our first back-to-back champion or Joe will become our first three-time winner.
THE "POOP LIST"
No one makes the poop list this week. Marc gets a pass because he ran out of moves to pickup another kicker when it was announced Sunday morning Carney would sit.